Angela came to Synthesis to work through deep personal trauma with a psilocybin truffle ceremony, preparation and integration at one of our retreats. Here she shares her story and experience.Watch Angela's video:
What a long strange trip it’s been — Grateful Dead
Life is full of beauty and surprises, both positive and negative. Much of our life’s outcome is determined by how we react to what is happening in our life and to us directly. This seems easy enough, but in reality it can be much more challenging. Especially if you’ve lived through bouts of trauma. And yet, even then, life is constantly surrounding us with opportunities to react and live in love.
This is what brought me to Synthesis — the desire to live more in love than in my anger. As I stated in the video, there has been a heavy amount of sexual and physical abuse in my family, and it has been generational. My maternal grandfather was the child of an aggressive and abusive man, and my grandfather, in turn, began abusing children — and my mother got the worst of it. It was a heavy burden of a secret that many of his victims carried, but it did not stop there. He was the head of our family for many years, abusing his position as the respected and honorable patriarch. Finally, when I was eight, he somewhat disappeared.
My mom mentioned to me when I was 16 years old that one day she would like to write a book with me about her life and the ability to overcome such horror. And so after an ayahuasca ceremony, where I was guided to the strength I needed to write this book, I quit my job and dedicated myself to bringing this familial story to life: Where Silence Ends.
It has been a lifelong journey sorting out my emotions and my stance on my grandfather, and I’m sure it will continue as I age but allowing myself the time to dive even deeper into my own consciousness at a place like Synthesis is what I hope many people around the world will have the chance to experience. It is a safe space, a healthy space, and a loving space where you can get to know yourself, your own thoughts, and your own emotions more than you thought possible.
Psychedelics are powerful substances that have been used for eons by humans — for personal growth and communal growth, amongst many other traditional uses. They are substances provided to us by the earth, allowing us to connect with, not only ourselves, but with the natural universe around us. When your own mind sees and feels the connectedness of all life on earth and beyond, that is a magnificent feeling that will stick with you for the rest of your life. Guaranteed.
Words by Angela Ruiz
We're delighted to announce that Angela and her mother Mary's book 'Where Silence Ends' is now published. You can discover more and buy the book here.